Decoding Suicidal Ideation - Stop the Stigma!

Understanding fosters compassion.

Hopefully, when the world accepts that people have emotional illnesses and emotionally-induced mental and physical consequences, the stigma surrounding mental health will completely disappear.

The mental constructs of an adult who contemplates suicide are the result of the feeling of despair, a total loss of hope of having the power to change something in their internal or external world.

𝗔𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵, 𝘀𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻.

The feeling is transmitted to the logical brain and chemicals – neuropeptides and hormones- are produced to feel it physically, as sensations in the body.

A suicidal episode is, in fact, a “despair attack”, similar to an “anxiety attack”.

As such, when we are in the middle of an episode, we must remind our brain that, just like panic or anxiety attacks, IT WILL PASS.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻, 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝘁, 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲.

Thus, it hurts more and more, giving the impression that we are exaggerating the pain, as the outside experience seems to not match the emotional reaction.

But the reaction contains all the former painful instances – all the frustration, all the hopelessness, all the anger– so it is not exaggerated – it is just misunderstood.

𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱; 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 – 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀.

For instance, we might perceive ourselves to be emotionally healthy, but carry within us an emotional wound of being rejected.

When we remember how we were rejected or we are being rejected again, by the same or a totally different person or group - we feel not only the painful sensations created by the new trigger, but also all the accumulated chemicals that were created when we felt rejected before, as they have not been fully processed and released. The intensity does become unbearable -and we experience a “despair attack”- a suicidal episode.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻, 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀, 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.

When receiving information about this high amount of emotional pain – despair, hopelessness – the logical brain must find ways to diminish it, to ensure emotional, mental, and physical survival.

The emotion of Despair is translated into the corresponding thoughts – which means that, beyond the specific episode, the conclusions reached are not necessarily true; they are simply a translation of an emotion.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 “𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺.”

It starts with trying to improve the outside environment – trying to solve the distressing situation or make other people see the person’s pain, in the hopes that they will participate in improving the external circumstances by modifying their behaviours.

When the outside experience doesn’t change – it identifies alternative options, behaviours designed to cope with the pain, such as positive focus combined with suicidal ideation, cry-for-help behaviours such as cutting, etc.

When these behaviours don’t work, the person feels even more despair, and the logical brain arrives at the conclusion that the only way to diminish the pain is to get out of life.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗺𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝘂𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.

However, we must mention that this may be the reality of only part of your psyche – the part in charge of “solving” the emotional trauma of rejection. The rest of your psyche might disagree – as it is not in pain.

So, you might have thoughts like “I know that this is not what I want, but I can’t stop myself from thinking this way when I am in the middle of an episode.” This is normal. You are dealing with separate psyche “partitions” that perceive reality from their own recorded experience. Some are in deep, excruciating pain, some aren’t. Some even enjoy the life you’re living – you access them when you feel happy.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲: There is a therapeutic process that can help you 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿, as well as providing the psyche part that is in pain with alternative solutions to the painful external circumstances that it feels it cannot solve.

Because this psyche part was, most probably, formed in childhood, it may have the emotional and cognitive age of a child, being aware of only those solutions that were available in childhood.

The goal is to empower you to make the necessary changes on the outside – and to lower the pain from not being able to change other people’s behaviours, as that proves to be the case in most situations.

Understanding Suicidal Ideation and Breaking the Stigma

For far too long, we have struggled to convince the world that there should be no stigma surrounding mental health.

In the text below, you will find a clear and logical explanation of the emotional illness of Despair and its coping behaviours - suicidal ideation and attempts.